The Power of Friction: From Brand Identity to Personal Style
I've been thoroughly enjoying Almost Reckless by Tibi founder Amy Smilovic, and one concept in particular has stuck with me: friction is evidence of a good concept — it's often where the real magic happens.
As a creative business owner, that idea shows up regularly in my own work, especially in the moments when a client and I don't quite have agreement on a final direction. I've come to realize that those small frictions, where we push a concept's boundaries back and forth, are usually where we land on the most individual, most them version of a brand identity.
Why This Book (and Its Author) Hit Different
I think what pulls me in is that Amy is a female founder, and a bad-ass one at that. She has a natural ability to tell a story, and by sharing her background, she humanizes everything she teaches. I’d rather learn from someone who started at the bottom and bootstrapped their way up — someone who didn’t follow a conventional format. This resonates with me more than learning from someone who found some success and decided to write a book about it or sell a downloadable PDF.
Side note: The brand designer in me is also obsessed with the hardcover and binding of the book — that shade of green and embossed text are so good!
Advice from someone who has lived it versus someone who has schooled their way into becoming an expert just hits different. Like the two Bobs in Office Space, I’ve met plenty of these people in my corporate life, and it’s off-putting to be told how to do something by someone with zero experience in the trenches. It’s the same reason I get on my soapbox about our failing school district paying millions to outside consulting firms when they have a pool of professionals who could write the playbook based on real, lived experience. I don’t get it, and I never will.
Between the book and a deep dive into Amy’s podcast, Off You Go (note to self: not a great running podcast — I kept having to stop and add notes as they dropped nuggets of genius), one concept in particular has stuck with me: friction.
The Nodding-Along Effect
Amy talks about being a “Creative Pragmatist,” and how, if you’re reading her book and you are one, you’ll find yourself nodding along the whole way through. She's upfront that this mindset isn't for everyone, and that's okay. I say something similar in my own work all the time — you aren't for everyone and everyone isn't for you, and that is okay — and sure enough, I found myself nodding along, pulling inspiration from nearly every page.
Where Personal Style Meets Brand and Website Design
The deeper I go down this path, the more I notice the overlap between what I do for a living — brand and website design — and the fashion world. Really, it's a synchronicity across all creative fields.
For example, the fashion girlies love to talk about "adding friction" to an outfit — a bit of texture, an unexpected twist, whatever buzzword is trending that week. I'm fully bought into this concept. Some of the best outfits I've put together have had an element of what I'd call "uncomfortable" to them. Not that the clothing itself is uncomfortable — more like an "ooh, should I really be wearing this?" feeling, usually confirmed by a side-eye from my husband.
And that's exactly the dynamic I see play out in my client work.
Friction = Progress = the Magic Sauce
Not every project unfolds this way. Sometimes a client likes my vibe, trusts the process, and just lets me do my thing. But plenty of my favorite collaborations have involved creative people who pushed back on a concept, questioned an idea, or added their own texture to my vision. At first, I wasn't sure how to feel about that kind of friction, almost feeling afraid that I was missing the mark in my work. Over the years, though, I've come to welcome the "friction," as it is the guts of a true collaboration. I've also realized the end result on these types of projects is always the magic formula for that particular client and their audience.
Some of my proudest outcomes have come directly from that push and pull. It's helped me discover what I'd call my superpower: melding a person's organic personality with their business, while still delivering results that drive real, authentic connection with their audience.
Yes, I'm aware those are some serious industry buzzwords, but the point stands. Friction is where it's at. It's where we push our creative boundaries and think beyond the obvious. It's the human element that separates one brand — or one personal style — from every other one that looks just like it.
Where's the Individuality?
Scroll through social media right now and look at all the AI-generated flyers circulating. They all look exactly the same — and not in a good way. Where's the friction, the texture, the individuality, the point of view?
It's the same with personal style. You can upload a photo and ask AI to recommend "your colors" based on your skin tone, and you might get a reasonable answer. But honestly, my colors are whatever I love wearing. If a shade doesn't quite complement my skin tone, I'll tie it around my waist instead and let it add definition and texture in a different way. Personal style isn't something an algorithm can hand you. It comes from paying attention, trusting your instincts, and being willing to get it a little "wrong."
The same is true for a brand. It can't be generated — it has to be worked out, pushed on, and pulled into shape until it actually fits.
The Beauty Is in the Friction
At the end of the day, I keep having these little a-ha moments, and I'm enjoying the exploration — even when it causes a bit of discomfort. Through friction, through paying attention to what the universe puts in front of me, and through drawing inspiration from the everyday, I keep finding the same truth: that's where the real beauty lives.
Let's Find Your Friction
If you're at a place in your journey as a business owner where your website and brand identity don't feel like the right fit anymore, let's chat about a collaboration. Exploring where you are now and where you want to go is all part of the discovery process — the push and pull that leads us to the end result: a brand experience that feels like you and resonates with your audience.
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